Thursday, March 5, 2009

What I've Come To Realize...

I've been praying a lot for my little nephew and for Jesse and Alvin ever since we found out he had a heart defect. I have spent a lot of time on my knees this past week and a half- especially yesterday (the surgery day). Here our some things I've come to realize through all this:

1- There is no doubt in my mind that there is a loving Heavenly Father who hears our prayers. He may not always answer them in the way we would like, but he is there, he listens, and he truly cares. And even though I don't know why he allows people to go through such amazingly hard trials, he does everything for a reason and he is LOVING.
2- The support of family and friends for my sister and little Lewis has really been amazing. I have received messages from people who hardly know us who tell me that we are in their prayers and that if there is anything they can do to help to let them know. I know that Jesse and Alvin have benefited from all these thoughts and prayers.
3- I have come to realize that I too often take my blessings for granted. Yesterday morning I came and got online to do a little blog searching. Ever since we found out about Lewis's heart defect I have been looking at random blogs of other 'heart babies'. I was reading one blog in particular yesterday in which a family just this week had to make the impossible decision to take their baby off of life support. I started crying as I read about the last day at the hospital and how the parents had to say goodbye and watch their 3 kids tell their baby sister goodbye for the last time. After reading this I found myself on my knees once again, praying for this family that I didn't know and praying again for little Lewis. After I prayed I quickly called to my little Madden and just held him in my arms for a few minutes. Just about 15 minutes earlier than this I had been yelling and scolding him. I had left Madden alone in the family room for about 5 minutes while I went to the bathroom and checked my email. When I came out, I realized that he had gotten to a spray bottle of cleaner that had bleach in it (that his dad had accidentally left out) and had sprayed it all over our brown carpet and on the TV. After further inspection, I saw that we had 2 big spots and several smaller spots of discolored carpet, and that the bottom left corner of our TV was all black (so that when you turned the TV on, you couldn't see whatever was in that corner). As I held Madden after this prayer, I felt incredibly blessed to have this healthy, full of energy little guy in my life- even if he did just ruin the carpet and TV- that didn't matter anymore. What mattered is that he is here, he is healthy and he is mine.
4- I have come to realize that no matter how big I may think my problems are, there is always someone out there who has it worse than I do. This has made me really try to look at the positive side of things and to 'count my many blessings'. After the said bleach incident I later found myself thinking... I'm so grateful he didn't get it on the couch. I think you can most always find good in any bad situation.

11 comments:

The Arnell Family said...

I know Jesse from high school. I graduated from Joseph City (my maiden name is Penrod). I don't know you but her blog is private so I couldn't leave her a message. She is in our prayers and I hope everything works out.

Jaime Stephens said...

That was great.. Thanks. Hope all went well with the surgery!

The Bishop Family said...

I really hope that everything goes well with baby Lewis. I think being a parent you can easily relate to how any parent would feel in a similar situation. I think we tend to put ourselves in their shoes and ask ourselves "how would I react?" It really does make you thankful for all the wonderful things in your life. Look at it this way, Madden may have bleached the carpet and messed up the tv, but THOSE are just material things that can be easily replaced! :) I have found myself getting mad when Danika colors the floor with her crayons but she is entertained and happy and it's something I can clean later.

ron&melz said...

It's Mom and Jessica over at the hospital. We so appreciate your sweet post. Lucky for Madden all this is going on - he probably didn't get in quite as much trouble as he would have (give that boy a big hug and kiss from Grandma)!! We love and appreciate you guys so much - hopefully we can see you soon!

Aunt Tiff said...

Manda...that was beautiful!! Sad that it takes hard things like this for us to realize certain things. We have been blessed with an amazing family. Sittin back watching Jessi and Alvin go through this has given me just a glimpse of what our Heavenly Father must have felt to have to sit back and watch our Savior, his son, go through his trials. What would we do without this knowledge?

Nic and Jessica Despain Family said...

Thanks for your thoughts Amanda! I know how hard this had to be on your whole family and i just wanted you to know that i sure to care about you and am so thankful for a friend like you that reminds me everyday of what is so important!! Thanks for always being such a great example! I love you hunny! I totally agree with Aunt Tiff!!!

Reed and Kamarie said...

Amanda our hearts and prayers go out to your sister and Alvin.I dont have axcess to her blog so I thought I would leave it there. Gina has been keeping me updated. I am sure this is hard for you as well. I love your post about the loving heavenly father. Please let me know if you need anything. Meals, babysitter, etc...

Kiara and Scott Vowell said...

Let your sister and her sweet little boy know they are in our thoughts and prayers. Prayers are so important, and I know they help no matter who they are from

Camron and Lonna Connolly said...

Thank you for that post. It strengthened me! I had the thought of Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemene and knowing the the Lord had to suffer while he watched his son suffer every pain. Jesse is so strong! I love you guys, your family is amaizing! LONNA

Paula said...

Amanda, I was on Baby Lewis' blog and saw yours... your post was so sweet. I think Baby Lewis has made a lot of us give our babies an extra hug or two and realize how much we take them for granted. That's something I thought I would never do, but sometimes find myself guilty of. Please give your parents our love. I have thought of you mom often these past few months and can't imagine how hard it is to watch your daughter go through this and feel so helpless. Just as Jesse and Alvin must feel with little Lewis. Your family has shown such faith and strength and has been an inspiration to us all. Your little boy is so cute! He looks like he's a lot of fun, bleach and all. Congratulations on your little guy to come as well. Hang in there.
Paula

Andrew & Mandy said...

amanda will you please pass ths on, i was unable to post it on lewis' page.Jesse this picture made me cry! There is such joy in having a baby and knowing that this can happen is heart breaking and I'm so sorry about your situation! I have been following your and his blog now and I am truly amazed at how strong you are! I remember going to KAti's baby shower and how excited you were that you were trying to get pregnant. I can't imagine how this is affecting you. I will keep your family in our prayers and hope the best to come. Taking it a day at a time is the best you can do and i commend you for that! You truly have a heart of faith!